Spread love like violence.
Future Child: Dad, I think I'm in love.
Me: Well like us old tumblr users used to say, "bitch I might be".
Future Child: Dad how is that even relevant
Me: Do he got the booty my child.
Future Child: ...what
Me: Child. Do he got da booty.
Future Child: *sighs heavily* He doooooo.
Me: Then I ship it, my child.
bae: come over
me: do you have food
bae: my parents aren't home
me: are they coming back with food